Been a rough year….

[kenw]

Sitting here in the hospice section of the hospital beside my mom, my wife is here with me as we sit with the hope that mom knows we’re here. She responds occasionally, but we can’t be sure it is actually a response or just a subconscious movement.

Actually, it was 2 years ago we started regular weekend trips to San Antonio to help mom and dad with their medications and to just check up on them. By September of 07, our trips became almost weekly. Dad’s Alzheimer’s had progressed to the point where he was forgetting that he had already taken today’s medicines and was working on tomorrow’s….In May of 08 we moved them to Houston so we could get them in an assisted living home together. Mom was fine with that and understood, but dad couldn’t understand. In his mind he was perfectly capable of taking care of mom; especially since physically he was in near-perfect health. The house we found for them was close to work, so I was able to stop by almost every day just to visit or take care of needs.

In September, dad developed a strange condition that slowly paralyzed him and we placed him in the hospital just before Ike hit. A few days later, mom developed a urinary tract infection and we took her in. Mercifully, both were in the hospital during the hurricane as their home had been evacuated and they would have had to stay with us…complete with no electricity, etc…..Ike was bad, but God is good!

Dad rapidly degraded, and passed away in early October. Mom got a bit better but was in and out of the hospital, rehab and such almost constantly for one thing or another. A month ago or so we sent her to the hospital with an infected salivary gland, likely plugged due to her inability to chew and swallow properly. She quickly got over that but the damage was done and she simply started to slip away. After 2 weeks in an acute care hospital in Katy, we moved her to hospice a little closer to our home yesterday. It is now fairly obvious she won’t be with us much longer. This place is wonderful, the staff a blessing. She’s comfortable and we have a lot of space and privacy to share together. She is breathing a bit laboriously now, some rattling in her throat. Swelling in her hands and legs has decreased a small amount. She is unable to respond to us clearly, but we think she can hear and understand us when we speak to her. Well, we want to think so….

We surmise that they both stuck around to take care of each other (married for 62 years!), and once dad passed away, mom may have just felt like it was time to move on, and in her way of thinking, "not be a bother to anyone"..... After all, this is the longest they’ve ever been apart.

The web is my physical escape……so if some of my comments on TPF seem a bit odd (well, moreso than normal!), cut me some slack.

It’s been a rough 2 years….

thanx for indulging me.

[mmuhlenkamp]

Sorry, Ken. It's good that you're able to be with your parents in their final days. It's hard, but your doing good. Keep faith.

[TXFZ1]

Thoughts and Prayers for you and your family.

David

[ken74]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Heatherlou]

Bless you Ken, and the process your going through. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

[Angelo]

Ken, Thanks so much for your comments. Some of us are also going through similar experiences. It's a difficult learning experience for me...
Keep us posted, please...

[J Eddington]

Ken, hang in there. Our prayers are with you and your family.

[ttusa]

I'm sorry you've had such a rough two years, Ken. You and your family are definitely in my prayers.

I know from experiencing three major losses at once about seven years ago, that GOD WILL help you and your family through these tough times.

[janetg]

ken you hang in there, as you and i had discussed our parents quite a few times, this hits home in a big way. i am still reeling over the death of my mother a few weeks ago. i think i'm doing well, then bang..it hits.

thoughts and prayers are with you...

janetg

[danchez]

i am at work and now i am crying...... My mom was taken from me in January of '03, cancer. It was very hard and at times, is still very hard. My heart aches for you....

[MicWayWal]

My thoughts and prayers go for you and your family. I speak from experience that HE will not give you more than you can bear. Vent all you want, it does help.

[donlfaulkner]

Ken, Princess and I are praying for you. Alzheimer’s is such an evil disease. I did not catch whether your Mother has it also or not. Either way, it is such a hard thing to watch your parents slowly slip away. My Mom just died of Alzheimer’s a couple of months ago. They will leave a hole in your heart that only memories can fill.

God Bless you.

[Phanee]

Ken, God bless you and your family.

[bcody]

Ken, I am sorry. Prayers to you and your family for all they have been going through, and what lays ahead. I took care of my father for the last year of his life, and understand the pain you are going through. Visit here and talk whenever you need to.

[ElanR]

Not much to say Ken. Just be strong and look forward.

[Bella]

Ken, as difficult as it is, you and your parents are both blessed to have had the time together you've had. Thoughts and prayers to you all.

Cindy

[CaptainTom]

Don't be concerned about expressing your feelings on this forum. We are a true "family" of friends.
You can find peace in knowing that you were a good son and treated your parents with respect and dignity.

[Sideline]

Ken, keep your head up.